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Sarah Stone's avatar

I'm really sorry about the job and I'm always grateful for your beautiful and vulnerable words! I've been ruminating on them for a few days as they keep poking at a question I've been wrestling with for awhile about the very nature of God/The Mystery/The Universe, and the main thing that I can't quite seem to let go from the version of Christianity I was handed, which is something like: Is there a thing that actually cares what you get?" or maybe, "is something actually deciding what wants you back or what is meant for you?"

Is the Divine something that cares about me and the circumstances of my life personally, or is it a larger, more impersonal thing--like Kali, the Great Mother who holds the balance of life, creation, death, and destruction, not necessarily caring for the everyday concerns of individual humans? I'm have no clue anymore. But I love what you say about desire being central to the female journey. Finding what turns us on and lights us up, and then following it, whatever happens. And in doing so, it is the divine spark within me--God in me--that matters, not some kind of external God that is what I refer to as a "magic box", giving me good things or bad things or withholding things from me until I do something better or learn something more. Anyway, thanks for writing something that is really working on me this week...

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Bekah Stewart's avatar

Thanks Sarah - for reading, replying and for your empathy. Oh I love how you put this! Yes, especially as women, we must make the transition from a God without to a God within - from Authority without to Authority within.

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Sarah Stone's avatar

Yes, I love that!! ❤️

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Bekah Stewart's avatar

❤️

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Terry Morgan's avatar

Beautifully expressed, Bekah. Thanks for sharing your heart journey and encouraging us in the process. Can’t wait to hear what doors open for you in the future.

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Bekah Stewart's avatar

Thank you Terry. ❤️

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Kim Eckhart's avatar

So timely as I begin a job search for the first time since all the stars aligned 6 years ago. You gave me a map to navigate this emotional road of discernment, vulnerability, bracing myself for rejection while maintaining hope. You are a wonderful guide and pastor!

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Bekah Stewart's avatar

Thank you Kim. I want so badly for life to work where there is ONE time when the stars align and then everything seems to run smoothly after. But then - perhaps - there would be no need to look up. I'm holding you close as you start the job search.

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Jeanette Thomas's avatar

so good, sis! thanks for the candor. holding all the things tenderly alongside 🤲🏼

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Bekah Stewart's avatar

Thanks for holding it all alongside Jeanette. I know you are familiar with tender.

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Jeanette Thomas's avatar

so good, sis!

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Kelsie Brandt's avatar

💕💕💕💕

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Bekah Stewart's avatar

🩷

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sharon tiessen's avatar

I love you Bekah. From your Canadian friend and cheering section.

Sharon

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Bekah Stewart's avatar

I love you too Sharon. Thanks for cheering me on!

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