Permission to Matter (Part 2)
As we consider who is at our table, an important question to ask is this: from where or who do I receive my permission? Which is to say, who or what has authority in my life?
This has been one of my most powerful conversations in recent years with myself, and with women I guide. Who gets to decide that I matter? Who do I look to for permission – to speak, to act, to bring my full self?
If our table conversation primarily exists between our Wounded Child and our False Self – it will always be informed by parts of ourselves that have been created in response to others.
Inherently, these parts of us have incredible gifts to offer. They are keenly aware of the world around and are always assessing nest steps accordingly. When working in healthy partnership, these two parts can be a force for incredible good in the world. They shape our most significant contributions. But, without the help of our Wild Child, they will continue to need a “why” outside of themselves. They will always look to an “outsider” for permission.
Our Wild Child is the part of us that says, “I need no better reason than my own well-being to move fully into the world.” She is the one who can tenderly laugh at herself – genuinely - not as some sort of sarcastic deflection. She is a truth teller. However, it’s not the kind of truth you get to by thinking. It is truth by way of deep intuitive knowing, and it can only be accessed as you learn to trust yourself. In other words, in our Wild Child we locate our God-given agency and authority.
Our Wild Child doesn’t wait for permission- she seizes it.
Where does authority in your life live? Is she sitting at your table yet?
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As a side note: The framework I am using for the sub-personalities who make up who we are comes from the book “SoulCraft” by depth psychologist Bill Plotkin.